What I really need to Google...

As I walked home from taking Jacob to school today I was thinking about how nice it would be if someone created a database, linked to a search engine like Google, that has a list of punishments(I like to call them consequences) that fit with the severity of the misbehavior. For instance, I would Google a sentence like this after my little incident with Jacob today, "What is the appropriate consequence for a child who holds a sit in (protest) at the edge of the playground insisting that he will not go to school?" After finally coercing said child to start walking by severe threats of losing all dinosaurs in his possession and also any video games he has ever even dreamed of playing I would then Google this scenario. "What do I do to a child who then walks about as slow as a two-legged turtle with a limp across a seemingly never-ending playground while his class is all waiting for him and the tardy bell has now rung? Teachers are telling him to hurry up and does he hurry, absolutely not. HE STOPS! HE STOPS! Eventually he does make it to his class line and goes into the school, still limping and now succeeding in making an entire 2nd grade class late." (He has a mosquito bite on his leg that apparently has rendered it useless, although it was fine until he hit the pain- inducing force field at the edge of the playground.) Now since there is no Google database that I am aware of with this function, what do you think should be the appropriate consequence for said actions? If anyone had seen me watching all of this unfold from across the street they would have seen the steam just shooting out of my ears, just like in the cartoons. This fuming mother only has an hour and a half before he comes home to decide his fate. Oh and it's got to be good...